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Plane Old Gutenberg
May. 23rd, 2008 | 10:46 am
For anyone who might be unaware, there are only a few things in life that would ever make air travel necessary:
My gratitude to the Lord has since stopped.
Maybe things were looking too safe in my life. Maybe I was getting too comfortable walking and that was becoming troublesome to others. Either way, things had been apparently too peaceful, and the Lord decided there was need for a change.
And so he brought Gutenberg to Chicago.
Many here may remember that last year when Gutenberg graced this fine city of New York, I was there on a weekly basis, offering up my hearty laughter and near-sick obsession. And on that fateful day when the laughter stopped and the theater closed its doors on my neuroses forever, a tiny part of me died inside.
But then there was Chicago.
Three weeks ago, I was alerted of this theater news via a message on my Facebook wall.
"I feel this is call for a road trip!" said equally-obsessed friend of mine alongside a Gutenberg news link on said Facebook wall.
My response to her included various exclamation points in a variety of places, and dreams of scenic car rides and comfy trips on mass transit filled my head as I immediately googled car rentals and Amtrak schedules. Gutenberg was ALIVE! And in a place that was close enough to travel to on land!
Unfortunately, my friends, although aware of the definition of "road trip," do not view 14-hour car rides through the cornfields of Ohio particularly scenic, or 21 hours on an Amtrak train particularly comfy.
FOOLS!
The summer before my freshman year of college, my family drove to Chicago for vacation, so I knew for a fact that the ride back and forth is a relaxing journey full of cow pastures, and farmhouses, and AMERICA. And my father, who wouldn't let anyone else drive on the trip, fell asleep at the wheel only ONCE, and only knocked into the car in front of him TWICE.
My friends and I could have had that same fun.
And if that didn't seem joyous enough, Amtrak would be there to bring us to and from, where all we had to do was get on the train at 6pm, get to Chicago at 5pm the next day, go see the show that night, get back on the train right after, and then be back in New York the next day. None of us had ever had a trip that eventful before. It would've been a FIRST.
For anyone who didn't realize this before... my friends suck.
On July 3rd, my land mammal ass ascends into the sky for the first time on its way to the windy city.
Kidnapped babies and party invites from Oprah need not happen now.
1. rescuing your baby from foreign terrorist kidnappersSome are these are obviously more important than others (Oprah), but nonetheless they remain joined together as valid reasons for which to risk mental insanity and death. And for the past 26 years, I have thanked the Lord everyday for keeping my life baby and talk-show-host-media-mogul-free, so that I can remain on the ground where land mammals and human beings belong.
2. partying with the Oprah in the African desert
3. Gutenberg! the Musical!
My gratitude to the Lord has since stopped.
Maybe things were looking too safe in my life. Maybe I was getting too comfortable walking and that was becoming troublesome to others. Either way, things had been apparently too peaceful, and the Lord decided there was need for a change.
And so he brought Gutenberg to Chicago.
Many here may remember that last year when Gutenberg graced this fine city of New York, I was there on a weekly basis, offering up my hearty laughter and near-sick obsession. And on that fateful day when the laughter stopped and the theater closed its doors on my neuroses forever, a tiny part of me died inside.
But then there was Chicago.
Three weeks ago, I was alerted of this theater news via a message on my Facebook wall.
"I feel this is call for a road trip!" said equally-obsessed friend of mine alongside a Gutenberg news link on said Facebook wall.
My response to her included various exclamation points in a variety of places, and dreams of scenic car rides and comfy trips on mass transit filled my head as I immediately googled car rentals and Amtrak schedules. Gutenberg was ALIVE! And in a place that was close enough to travel to on land!
Unfortunately, my friends, although aware of the definition of "road trip," do not view 14-hour car rides through the cornfields of Ohio particularly scenic, or 21 hours on an Amtrak train particularly comfy.
FOOLS!
The summer before my freshman year of college, my family drove to Chicago for vacation, so I knew for a fact that the ride back and forth is a relaxing journey full of cow pastures, and farmhouses, and AMERICA. And my father, who wouldn't let anyone else drive on the trip, fell asleep at the wheel only ONCE, and only knocked into the car in front of him TWICE.
My friends and I could have had that same fun.
And if that didn't seem joyous enough, Amtrak would be there to bring us to and from, where all we had to do was get on the train at 6pm, get to Chicago at 5pm the next day, go see the show that night, get back on the train right after, and then be back in New York the next day. None of us had ever had a trip that eventful before. It would've been a FIRST.
For anyone who didn't realize this before... my friends suck.
On July 3rd, my land mammal ass ascends into the sky for the first time on its way to the windy city.
Kidnapped babies and party invites from Oprah need not happen now.